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Sample Pages From "Lives in
Process" |
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Creation Leads to Another
What joy! It pleased me to travel alone and experience myself.
Part of me wished that I had experienced this freedom earlier in
life, but another part knew that at age 55 I had accumulated enough
wisdom to know that this journey was not only for me. It was for
all women in search of their true selves, because every time one
of us opens to our potential, we all benefit. Ten years of yoga
had not taught me to breathe as deeply and fully as I was breathing
now, and I was truly learning to listen with my body by observing
how it felt in various situations and trusting those feelings to
guide me. Earth was no longer just an object. She was my companion,
protector, nurturer, and friend. I loved being in the Southwest
and watching the ever--changing skies. The shifting formations of
the clouds and the brilliant sunsets were endless sources of delight.
In spite of an extra dry and dusty summer, the air remained clear.
Two years earlier, a chance connection led to my invitation to teach
and lecture in Albuquerque and was the seed that influenced me to
begin “Piecing a Quilt of Life.” I met Lynn Pruvost
at a craft show in Washington DC where I was selling my work. She
had asked if I taught classes, and I had given her a packet of information
to distribute to other quilters in New Mexico. I was now following
Lynn in her car to Los Alamos where I would connect with other quilters.
When creating my art quilts, if I am able to surrender to the moment,
follow my intuition, and allow my decisions to flow from a deep
place inside, I am able to create much more than my ego can imagine.
Neither Lynn nor I had any idea that these were the first stitches
for “Piecing a Quilt of Life,” yet we honored our mutual
interests and acted intuitively. Later, when Lynn learned about
the project, she encouraged me to think big and see the possibilities.
Knowing that the potential for all creation is elusive, she encouraged
me to trust the unknown. |
Giving
Ourselves Permission
The five days in Los Alamos were filled with connections to interesting
people and places. Christa Manning opened both her home and her
heart to me while I was there, sharing openly her thoughts and memories.
Born in Germany, Christa evacuated to East Germany during World
War II. At the end of the war she was in Austria, where her great-grandfather
lived. Times were hard. She watched her mother create dresses from
curtains and shoes from leather purses. Her first recollection of
playing with fabric was when she was ill and her mother gave her
a stack of beautiful handkerchiefs, a doll, and pins with which
to play. Nature was her sanctuary and friend, the place where she
felt protected:
“I remember picking different colors [of flowers] and sorting
them into small jars with water. It was my way of having pretty
things close to me. There was also a special tree with a large mushroom
on the trunk. In my childish imagination, the tree was sick and
I would pilgrimage to it and take it flowers. As a return the tree
would listen to me telling him my problems. I told my tree/friend
how hungry I was or how my feet hurt from going barefoot. The tree
always understood.”
Christa eventually became a master seamstress and moved to America.
She first saw a quilt at the Smithsonian Museum, fell in love with
the colors and designs, and began making them. She followed traditional
patterns, then expanded by varying and creating her own versions
of the old. When I met Christa, she longed for a more personal expression.
I encouraged her to do whatever she chose and to create her own
standards for quality. It was permission! Like the power of the
gift that opened my life to travel, she immediately began to create
quilts with landscape and petroglyph themes. She had freed herself
to see and accept the possibilities. |
New
Experiences
In southern New Mexico I camped under the stars at the home of
Elaine, a healer, and friend of a friend in South Carolina. We talked
about finding our voice as women, and I told the story of my voice
lessons. Elaine listened, and I appreciated being heard.
I loved sleeping without a tent, feeling protected and loved by
Mother Earth, and seeing the crescent moon and stars shine through
the umbrella of cottonwood trees. Elaine’s gardens are arranged
according to the medicine wheel and in spirals. Watered by the well’s
reserves, her bit of desert had turned into an oasis.
When I drove slowly away from Elaine’s house, I wasn’t
completely ready to leave, but I knew that my journey had more to
reveal and that I must continue. At Canyon De Chelly, a place I
had only heard about, but intuitively felt that I must visit, I
arrived early enough to set up my campsite and walk to the bottom
of the canyon before sunset. The late afternoon light was magnificent,
casting a warm glow on the canyon floor. The ancient ruins stood
as witness to the passage of time and I felt that somehow I was
a small part of this history too.
By chance, I walked out of the canyon just before sunset with a
young Navajo woman, age 26 and the mother of four young children.
She had been selling her jewelry as she did every day in the canyon,
and her slow, determined walk reminded me to pace myself and to
be present in the moment. We talked about the difficulties inherent
in balancing the roles of wife, mother, and artist.
The next morning I was at the canyon edge at sunrise and sat for
over an hour in the silence. A young Navajo man approached me with
a warm smile as I turned to leave. “Would you like for me
to take your picture with your camera?” he asked. “Of,
course,” I replied. I had not documented myself on this adventure
yet and was pleased that he had asked. After he snapped my picture
we started to talk. I asked if he was available to show me part
of the canyon that I would not ordinarily be able to see (the canyon
is on the Navajo Reservation and strictly regulated). He agreed,
and as we continued to talk, I showed him postcards of my artwork.
He said, “You need to meet my mother. She is a weaver. And
my grandfather who is 80 years old and known for his knowledge of
natural healing and shamanic ways.” “Yes!” I replied,
“I would love to meet them both.”
The young man’s name was Dalton and his mother’s home
was a small one-room house surrounded by desert. She had a youthful
walk, kind eyes, and greeted us in a warm and open way. I hesitated
to enter her home, but Dalton insisted. Everything was simple, tidy,
and necessary. No television, no gadgets, and no clutter. We talked
about her weaving and she showed me her loom stored behind her home,
just a few simple sticks waiting for her next creation. She gave
me one of the necklaces she had made for the market and took me
to the top of the hill behind her house where we admired the colors
of the desert in the world where she lived. Imagine, living every
day so close to the earth!
Dalton’s grandfather lived just a short walk away. As we approached,
I could see his dinner cooking outdoors on the open fire. His home
was round, a traditional Navajo hogan with a single door, no windows,
and a smoke hole in the center of the cone-shaped roof. My imagination
conjured up images of this 80-year-old Navajo elder, and it increased
my anticipation and expectation. We entered his hogan and there
he was, sitting on a pile of blankets, wearing a “Braves”
T-shirt and playing solitaire. I laughed inside at what I had created
in my mind. How perfect! I had wanted to romanticize the unknown
and there it was in front of me, as profoundly ordinary as I. That
is the Great Mystery, the hidden truth behind all creation. It is
here and now and probably wearing a Braves T-shirt! He only spoke
the Navajo language, so I turned to Dalton as his grandfather laid
the cards down for a new round and said: “Watch him. I’ll
bet he is going to win this game.” In less than five minutes,
he had won!
It was time to move on. Dalton asked me to select a piece of petrified
wood from his collection and his mother gave me a long hug with
a blessing to love Jehovah. We took more photographs before I climbed
into my car to leave. |
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